"Boys are found everywhere—on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. Mothers love them, little girls hate them, older sisters and brothers tolerate them, adults ignore them and Heaven protects them. A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair
and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket."
Author: Alan Beck

Friday, January 7, 2011

Slipper Sadness.

Yesterday I discovered something tragic...

Two ginormous holes in the bottom of my left slipper.  I shutter to think it will only be a matter of days before the right one suffers the same.

If you know me well, you know that I LIVE in my slippers.  I put them on at 7:00 AM and don't take them off until I go to bed.  If I'm tired enough, I may even sleep in them.  I used to take them off whenever I would venture out front with my boys.  Even that changed last summer.  I proudly wore them with jeans (and even skirts) while my boys rode their bikes through the cul-de-sac.  It's clear I'm not out to impress.

(another photo I found on the computer - taken by my kids, no doubt - displaying my slipperish attire)

I really am depressed about the recent death of what have been my favorite pair of slippers.  Did I mention they were hand-made just for me?  Sigh....It's going to be a rough day.

(A few years ago I did the following post.  I just thought I'd add it.  In case you don't believe how serious I take my slippers.)

Dear Vera Wang,

For Christmas my husband bought me a lovely pair of slippers designed by you. He found them at Kohl's and paid the designer sticker price of $14.99 for them. A definite splurge for us.

Imagine my surprise when I opened my gift and saw these darling Mary Jane's-

It's been roughly 10 weeks since Christmas, and I've happily worn them every day since. That's where I went wrong. Here's a picture of my beloved slippers today-
Apparently, your shoes are made for moms like this-

Or for moms who sit on the couch all day eating these-

(Don't get me wrong, I love bon bons, but don't have time to eat them.)

I'm not that type of mom. I use my feet to walk. I also use my feet to chase, sprint, leap, and dance with my boys. My day is filled with constant motion.

I wish I could be more like her-

I wish I wore aprons and high heals on a daily basis. I wish my house was always perfectly clean, and dinner was hot and ready when my darling arrived home from work. However, I'd quickly forgo all the above wishes to have my boys listen attentively to me like Wally and The Beav.

This picture best reflects my offspring-

Are you catching my drift? I think your slippers should come equipped with a sticker on the box that looks like this-

Then 'real' moms like moi wouldn't have to resort to duct taping their soles.
Please accept this invitation Vera Wang, to spend one day at my house.

I have a pair of your slippers waiting for you.

I'll even provide the duct tape.


A Real Mom.

No comments:

Post a Comment